Dear Liz,
We have two CSRs on the team that become extremely distraught when they receive the invitation to a coaching session. They go into their manager's office and also go up to the coaches and state "Oh my gosh, what did I do?" and they also discuss it among the team. I have had discussions with both of them stating coaching is a learning environment and is used to help us improve our phone skills. During coaching, I state the positives before moving onto the improvements needed. Do you have any other suggestions regarding handling this situation? Is there a particular personality that responds this way to coaching?
Trying To Create A Positive Coaching Environment in New Jersey
Dear Trying To Create A Positive Coaching Environment in New Jersey,
Boy, have I been there! As I am sure every single coach, team leader, supervisor and manager has. The good news - this is possible to overcome.
I have a couple of questions in order to provide you with the most relevant answer. First, how does the manager respond to these individuals when they go to speak to him/her? I ask because oftentimes managers think it is their job to "listen to empathize" not "listen to empathize and coach to the appropriate behavior." If the manager only empathizes, he/she may be inadvertently fostering the "catastrophe-sizing." The second question: have these individuals attended any formalized training about the standards surrounding coaching and their own responsibility for their performance development?
If the answer to the first question is that the manager "listens to empathize" and not "listens to empathize and coach to the appropriate behavior," he/she needs to start coaching on the competency Openness To, And Acting On, Feedback. Once the individuals realize that they will be coached consistently when they catastrophe-size, they will stop behaving negatively. Which brings me to the second question about training. It is important to formally lay the foundation clearly and concisely about what behavioral standards exist in the organization. If Openness To, And Acting On, Feedback has not been established and defined by behavioral descriptions in your department, then it will be difficult to change the culture to one of incremental learning and performance development.
The last question you raise is a good one. Is there a particular personality that responds this way to coaching? As human beings we learn how to get what we want in ways that are subconscious. When individuals cry, get angry and defensive or catastrophe-size when they get feedback, they are "telling" you not to give them feedback. By making it difficult for you to do so, they hope you will stop or avoid it. Don't. Only by letting them know that behaving this way will not deter you from your mission to ensure that they achieve their best performance by giving them consistent and fair feedback, will they begin to accept the inevitable.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to email me @ lahearn@radclyffegroup.com for coaching consulting and training solutions go to www.radclyffegroup.com
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